Link to video because the Wing Bowl is garbage and won't allow me to embed the code properly:
http://wingbowl.cbslocal.com/2011/01/07/video-joe-eating-stunt/
For you non-Philly mopes, Wing Bowl is an annual tradition held every Super Bowl Friday at the Wells Fargo Center in the stadium complex. It is a chicken-wing eating contest. If you need any further explanation, you are a retard. Philly is usually wide-open that weekend to host this event, due to the fact that Andy Reid is our fat joke of a coach and we'll never get back to the big game as long as he's in charge. Yeah there was that one time a few years back we made it, but what happened? Oh right, Don (another major league failure) vomited on the field as we attempt to run the 2-minute offense.
Anyway, what sets this competition apart is that amateurs from around the US attempt to "qualify" for the Wing Bowl by successfully performing ridiculous eating stunts. If they qualify, they show up at Wells Fargo with an entourage and proceed to get a WWE-style entrance introduction before clogging their arteries with wing sauce. It is a truly awesome event, kinda like the Mummers parade for fat jerkoff dickweeds. Every year, there's usually a few attempts that stand out from the rest. For Wing Bowl 19, my man Joe (not pictured above) takes the proverbial cake with his utterly amazing "feet". (Get it?) Eating a cheeseburger in 5 minutes is something any guy could do. Eating it SOLE-ly (There's another one) with your disgusting feet is super impressive.
Here's the thing ... if the Jets lose to the Steelers this weekend, Rex Ryan has to be in his entourage, right? This is the biggest no-brainer in the history of no-brainers. He could ride out in a foot-shaped float sponsored by Dr. Scholl's as Rex does creepy voiceover work and the black dude pictured above weirdly sniffs Michelle Ryan's feet. Somebody with way more connections and power than me needs to make this happen.
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